Veteranism

Having spent 22 months in Ukraine now there is one feeling in particular that stands out: I’m a veteran. We just got a huge group of newbies. I was able to spend Christmas with a lot of them and I couldn’t help but think they have a long way to go. The questions they asked and the advice they sought made me look back at the fears and concerns I had when I first arrived in the country, and then at site. I realize how much I’ve grown and developed since I’ve been here.

I came as group 36. The next group, 37, arrived the Christmas before last. I was already somewhat a vet when they arrived, but that group constitutes the majority of my friends and we have figured out Peace Corps Ukraine together. Since then, groups 38, 39, and 40 have arrived. Now I just feel old. Most of the volunteers who arrive are only a year or two younger than me, but I feel, and sometimes am perceived, to be much older. There’s just something 2 years experience in Peace Corps will do to you.

There are a lot of things new volunteers have to figure out. It starts simple: which market has the freshest food, where to find the Oreos in your town, how to negotiate the confusing bus and train system, which teachers are the easiest to work with at school. But then things start to get more complex: how to cook potatoes and buckwheat in the most possible combinations to stretch out that meager Peace Corps stipend, where to go to get taco seasoning, how to get the train station cashier to call you when a seat opens up on a booked train, how to negotiate a grant and make your teachers do a project truly American style.

You start to learn how to get through life the easiest way possible. You get a certain Peace Corps street smarts that helps you avoid difficult situations. You get desensitized and learn what’s not worth freaking out about. You also develop much better language skills which just makes everything easier, not to mention you eventually find most of the people in town who speak English.

You also learn what you need to do to take care of yourself. Whether it be a night out with friends, watching marathons of The Office, splurging on the one excuse for a steak at the store, a vacation to Egypt, or a Skype date with an old friend, there are some things you just have to do to keep sane. As volunteers in Ukraine we often get a bad rap as living the easy life of Peace Corps. But people who consider Ukraine to be Europe, or even Eastern Europe for that matter are making a mistake. Where I live in Ukraine, until relatively recently, has always been Russia, a country with its own religion, its own political system, its own traditions. Yes the West has had its influence and can be seen in daily life, but the existence of McDonalds here makes Ukraine only as western as Iraq. This culture picks and chooses what to adopt, and never fully conforms to a western mindset. The fact that the majority of the people look like white Europeans only serves as a false façade. The cultural differences are vast and complicated and easily catch you off guard. Nothing is simple. So when the divide gets overwhelming, it’s necessary to find ways to escape.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not constantly trying to create a little American haven within Ukraine. I have fully immersed myself in this culture and integrated well in my community. I feel at home here now and could see myself living here indefinitely. I’m going to miss it dearly. That’s part of being a veteran too – knowing how to balance remaining American in Ukraine. Sometimes it feels like I’m being pulled apart in two different directions: loving adventure too much to stay put in America; loving America too much to ever be fully Ukrainian. It takes reconciling the bittersweet emotions of a love for your homeland and a love for the exotic to survive in a situation like Peace Corps.