Americanski Kozak

So the other day I officially became a card carrying member of the Ukrainian Cossacks. Basically, my school's director is a proud Cossack and works hard to instill Cossack heritage into the children at our school. There has been a Cossack representative speak or give gifts at every event I've attended, and there's even a small museum with Cossack artifacts at our school. Every 'homeroom' is named after a Cossack 'hetman' or general.

The occasion for my induction was the Ukrainian holiday for the Day of the Cossacks. My school prepared for almost two weeks for this holiday. Each homeroom had to learn how to march and chant their motto, name, and song. At the ceremony, each class paraded in front of Cossack representatives carrying their flags and reciting their chants. There was singing, competitions, speeches, and so forth, as usual. The difference at this ceremony was the induction of new Cossacks.

In the Ukrainian school system, after the 9th grade, students are allowed to choose whether to go to a college prep school or head off to a technical school. Seeing as this year could be the last year many of the 9th graders are at our school, it only made sense that their class be inducted into the Cossacks. They were made to kneel on the blacktop, repeat an oath, kiss a sword and cross, and get sprayed with holy water by an Orthodox priest. After the students' induction, it was my director's wish to have the new teachers get initiated as well. So we did pretty much the same thing, minus the oath but having to kiss the Cossack flag as well. I did so to resounding applause from the students. I was given my id card and certificate proving that I am now somehow a Cossack. The treat they gave the students after the ceremony? Porridge. It was really good.

So what is a Cossack you might ask? Basically, Cossacks were bands of 'warriors' who protected the villages of Ukraine in the middle ages. They eventually pledged their loyalty to the Tsar and became his personal protectors. They fought alongside the Russian army in several wars. They have passed into folklore and constitute a major part of the beauty of Ukrainian culture and art. They were disallowed during much of the Soviet Union, but since have resurrected. In some places that act as a parallel police force, or an army reserve. I've seen them guarding churches as they not only protect citizens, but tradition and religion as well.

I've been trying to find some analogy to help place the Cossacks in your mind. The closest I've come is a sort of Ukrainian samurai, though maybe a little more friendly and not so hardcore. They simply enjoy vodka and laughing too much to match the samurai in ferocity, though I wouldn't want to be caught dismounted when the Cossack calvary came across me. The state they are in at present is a little weird though. I would somewhat compare them to a rotary or kiwanis club honestly, if those organizations had a military connection. It would kind of be like if the confederates had willingly submitted to and fought alongside the United States Army, then the U.S. Army doublecrossed them, then the U.S. fell apart, and there was no war to fight, and the confederates values were legitimate, that organization would probably be similar to the Cossacks today. Hope you enjoyed that thought experiment, which will not offend you only if you are from the deep South.

So my life continues to be interesting, to say the least. My only concern is that I think I might be registered with a legitimate military reserve. If Ukraine, or even just the Cossacks, go to war, not sure where that leaves me. We've been joking that if the Cossacks go to war with America, I'd have to fight against my motherland. Kind of a 'Last Samurai' kind of thing. If they give me a sword I'm down.