Holidays

Thanksgiving for me was well spent with about 15 other volunteers in a city in south/central Ukraine. We actually celebrated on Saturday instead of Thursday, and there were few differences from the holiday at home. We watched football, played football, went shopping, cooked tons of food, then became catatonic afterwards. Of course there were differences. We went shopping at thrift stores, played football in a sketchy paved lot behind a school at dusk (3pm), watched a recorded Jets vs. Patriots game, cooked chicken instead of turkey, and nearly passed out at a sauna instead of on the couch. I loved the Ukrainian flavor it had, and had great company. Sure did miss home though. At least I got to Skype with the whole family on Thanksgiving Day.

Christmas is going to be weird. Ukraine celebrates Christmas on the Orthodox 'Old Calendar' which means they will celebrate actual Christmas on Jan. 7. Thanks to Soviet influence, they will do the whole Santa Claus thing on New Years Eve, which is their big celebration. Which means Dec. 25 is just another day here. It was weird enough forgetting about Thanksgiving on it's actual day, but missing Christmas is a different story. My family, friends, and country are going to be celebrating and I'll be working at school, with nobody acknowledging there is anything special about the day. Going to do my best to make sure I'm around friends who understand at least for a bit on Christmas day.

For New Years I'm going to be in Prague, living it up with my bro Austin Foster, giving him some much needed respite from Catholic seminary. I'll arrive in Prague on Dec. 29, meet up with Foster, then head down to Munich on Jan. 2, parting ways on the 5th. The goal is to be in a different city for New Years Eve every year. We've done New Orleans, New York, and now Prague. It will be interesting to see where we end up next.

It's gonna stink not celebrating Christmas like usual, but the upside is I will get back to Ukraine in time to celebrate Christmas with my friends on Jan. 7. There are already some plans in the works for that. So at least there's the potential to celebrate Christmas twice!

Quarantine

So, once again, I've delayed writing due to lack of a positive perspective. Emotionally it's been a rough past few weeks. But somehow, I got the flu this week and my mood has lifted and the world is bright again, at least in my mind (the forecast for the next 8 days predicts about 8hrs of sunlight TOTAL). This post chronicles life post pleasant bike ride recorded in previous post.

So, as you saw in the previous post it was as if God sent me a rainbow of peace in the form of a cemetery, a babbling brook, and amazing fall colors. I was all set to travel the next week for fall break, regroup, have fun, come back and get going on the schedule we finally pounded out but had yet to actually realize. So I set out for my host family the last week in October. It was a great time. They were happy to see me, I got fattened up by my host mom, got to play with my 4yo host nephew, got to spend quality time with one of my training facilitators, got to harass the new trainees, and chill with my buddy Dave. It felt so great to go back. I felt like an 8th grader strutting through the middle school on the last day of class. I'll always have a home in Baryshivka, and that's something I never expected, especially at the beginning of training.

Then we met up with some friends and all got on a train to Kharkiv to meet up with even more volunteers to celebrate Halloween. We partied on the train. We partied at the pre-party on Friday. We partied all day and night on Halloween. It was a blast. Luckily I picked the costume of Sherlock Holmes cause it gave me an excuse to wear an overcoat and a hat as the temperature dramatically dropped from its pleasant 70 degree loftiness. Got to catch up with old friends, make some new ones, and speak a ton of non-broken English. But the event was punctuated by a startling announcement by the Ukrainian Prime Minister: UKRAINE IS COVERED IN SWINE FLU SO SCHOOL IS CANCELLED FOR 3 WEEKS.

Most volunteers looked at this news with glee as it meant a spontaneous 4 week vacation for most, as the week before the quarantine had been fall break. I, however, viewed the quarantine with trepidation, knowing all my momentum was about to be destroyed, and I had absolutely nothing to do for 3 weeks. Furthermore, I had a sneaking suspicion that since, at that point, the flu had only just started in the west, by the time quarantine was over, it would move to the east and wreak havoc. So we all set off for home, each contemplating ways to entertain ourselves, giggling a little at all the people wearing white masks.

The first week was marked by a cold for me. I went to school to make sure I wasn't supposed to be there, then stayed in bed for the rest of the week just to make sure I didn't invite swine flu into my body. The second week was marked by the breakdown of my computer. My wonderful, trusty college laptop finally gave up the ghost at the worst possible time. Without it I couldn't even listen to music. Well, I could listen to my iPod until it ran out of battery, seeing as I charge my iPod with my computer. But I actually began playing solitaire with REAL cards. I was that bored. I finally broke down after trying for a week to fix it and called home to beg for a new computer. My parents consented and I went a bought a new netbook. Not my favorite computer, but gets the job done for now. And easy to travel with. The third week just sucked. I was soooo bored it finally got to me and I just couldn't get anything done. Thankfully it went by quickly cause I slept through most of it. I learned undeniably throughout that 3 week period that I don't do bored very well. It's crippling for me. Everyone tells me I need to relax and let myself get bored every now and then. Well, all of you who said that, I did it, and it almost killed me!

I was able to see friends on the weekends, and even went on a day trip to visit another nearby volunteer who made me pancakes. But the weeks were made even more difficult as most of the activity I take part in during the week is related to schools, meaning zero activity during quarantine. No running, no basketball, no weight room. And starting the week before Halloween, the sun decided to show its face only in hour long intervals once a week, and rarely a day went by without rain. So that made cycling very unappealing, and sleep super appealing. It was a very depressing time.

So the inactivity finally came to an end and I went back to school, and slowly dug myself out of my depressive hole. We've been back for two weeks now, and I'm glad to be rid of my neurotic frustrations with boredom. Of course, I have traded them for problems at school, but at least that has something to do with my purpose in being here. I'll go deeper into those problems as they get resolved cause I intend to be objective on such a topic.

At the moment I am in my own secluded self quarantine. I was supposed to go to Kiev this weekend but canceled the trip. I'm doped up on Tamiflu and Advil, but seeing light at the end of the tunnel, and for once enjoying my few days off. Got a lot done so far. Just has me wondering, if quarantine for the east had been 3 weeks later, when it would be predicted the flu would get here, would a third of my school be sick, including me? I love panic as political capital.

Places Find You

So on my way home from school on Friday, after getting out of school early because of the start of fall break, I decided to take a little detour down a road that hat been begging at me for weeks. It was a steep downhill which apparently led to nowhere. What I found blew my mind.

I'd been looking for a place like this, but the industrial mecca that is the Donbas region really made it hard, much harder than when I lived in a small city during training. I just bought a new mountain bike off a volunteer who's finishing up his service. It was awesome branching out from the little dirt road down some trails and bumbling my way around.

That's right, I now have two bikes, but they have their purposes. Belo is for heavy lifting and commuting, and Artie is for fun and exploring. And if you know me, I need both. Turns out I stumbled upon the somewhat hidden city cemetery. It was absolutely massive. It stretches for acres and acres. And on checking the dates on the headstones, it's relatively new. Now I'm wondering where the old cemetery is and how big it must be. Take note of the picnic tables next to the graves. It's tradition to eat meals with your dead loved ones, especially on a certain religious holiday, of which the name escapes me.

It was especially poignant since the fading fall sunlight and golden leaves really made the place glow. It's one of those places that leaves it's impression. Even if I never return, it will influence my memories of fall forever. I wasn't there long, but it didn't take much.

Not sure if I would have ever found this most perfect place if it hadn't called me to it. I had no plans to take the trip, and nobody tipped me off about it. And the great thing was, while I was taking photos, sometimes the sun would disappear, making for unfortunately gloomy photos. So I would give up and go a little further, and the sun would pop back out, and the spot I would find myself in would be a better shot. It was like the place was controlling how it wanted to be represented.

Then of course I had to ride one of the steepest hills I've ever been on. Wasn't too long but it was a heart breaker. Can't wait to go back for picnics and just to disappear. So happy it found me.

Americanski Kozak

So the other day I officially became a card carrying member of the Ukrainian Cossacks. Basically, my school's director is a proud Cossack and works hard to instill Cossack heritage into the children at our school. There has been a Cossack representative speak or give gifts at every event I've attended, and there's even a small museum with Cossack artifacts at our school. Every 'homeroom' is named after a Cossack 'hetman' or general.

The occasion for my induction was the Ukrainian holiday for the Day of the Cossacks. My school prepared for almost two weeks for this holiday. Each homeroom had to learn how to march and chant their motto, name, and song. At the ceremony, each class paraded in front of Cossack representatives carrying their flags and reciting their chants. There was singing, competitions, speeches, and so forth, as usual. The difference at this ceremony was the induction of new Cossacks.

In the Ukrainian school system, after the 9th grade, students are allowed to choose whether to go to a college prep school or head off to a technical school. Seeing as this year could be the last year many of the 9th graders are at our school, it only made sense that their class be inducted into the Cossacks. They were made to kneel on the blacktop, repeat an oath, kiss a sword and cross, and get sprayed with holy water by an Orthodox priest. After the students' induction, it was my director's wish to have the new teachers get initiated as well. So we did pretty much the same thing, minus the oath but having to kiss the Cossack flag as well. I did so to resounding applause from the students. I was given my id card and certificate proving that I am now somehow a Cossack. The treat they gave the students after the ceremony? Porridge. It was really good.

So what is a Cossack you might ask? Basically, Cossacks were bands of 'warriors' who protected the villages of Ukraine in the middle ages. They eventually pledged their loyalty to the Tsar and became his personal protectors. They fought alongside the Russian army in several wars. They have passed into folklore and constitute a major part of the beauty of Ukrainian culture and art. They were disallowed during much of the Soviet Union, but since have resurrected. In some places that act as a parallel police force, or an army reserve. I've seen them guarding churches as they not only protect citizens, but tradition and religion as well.

I've been trying to find some analogy to help place the Cossacks in your mind. The closest I've come is a sort of Ukrainian samurai, though maybe a little more friendly and not so hardcore. They simply enjoy vodka and laughing too much to match the samurai in ferocity, though I wouldn't want to be caught dismounted when the Cossack calvary came across me. The state they are in at present is a little weird though. I would somewhat compare them to a rotary or kiwanis club honestly, if those organizations had a military connection. It would kind of be like if the confederates had willingly submitted to and fought alongside the United States Army, then the U.S. Army doublecrossed them, then the U.S. fell apart, and there was no war to fight, and the confederates values were legitimate, that organization would probably be similar to the Cossacks today. Hope you enjoyed that thought experiment, which will not offend you only if you are from the deep South.

So my life continues to be interesting, to say the least. My only concern is that I think I might be registered with a legitimate military reserve. If Ukraine, or even just the Cossacks, go to war, not sure where that leaves me. We've been joking that if the Cossacks go to war with America, I'd have to fight against my motherland. Kind of a 'Last Samurai' kind of thing. If they give me a sword I'm down.

Underqualified and Over-zealous

So I've been putting off posting the past few weeks cause I honestly haven't had anything very interesting to report. I was put in a holding pattern because the school didn't set it's official schedule for four weeks. And then there's the matter of my personal schedule, which is a mystery to everybody. For the past six weeks I have been going to school almost everyday filled with uncertainty as to what I'm supposed to do, and what to do to make that uncertainty go away.

The original plan was for me to go to school every-other-day and work a full day. I would observe different classes to get an idea of how Ukrainian schools work, help English teachers in their lessons, plan sports and English clubs, and most importantly, plan games for the kids during the breaks. Later on it was added that I would open the weight room a few times a week for the older kids. Sounds pretty good, but it's all just a theory.

I've more or less accomplished all of the above tasks, but all a little bit different than I imagined, of course. I observed several different subjects, which was very interesting, except my school strictly teaches in Ukrainian. I barely speak Russian and still can't make heads or tails out of Ukrainian, so unfortunately I fell asleep a couple of times during my observations, despite bringing my own work to do. I tried to help the English teachers, and this went more or less to plan, except they also teach the majority of the class in Ukrainian and when given the reins for the class, the teachers often steal them back in Ukrainian as soon as I get started. Then there are my clubs.

I started out by putting up posters announcing my English and American Sports clubs with places to sign up. Of course, over 50 kids signed up for each one. Oh well, I thought, at least they know about it, though I only expected a few kids to show up at each. I planned my first English club on a Wednesday. I watched as all the kids streamed past me out of school while I frantically searched for the key to the room I'd been assigned. When I finally got it together, all that was left were three 5th grade girls and a 5th grade boy. So we had English club. I went over introductions and we practiced with each other, and in my opinion, it was pretty successful for 5th graders.

After reflecting on who came to the club and how to get others involved, it came to my attention that my school's erratic schedule creates major problems for after school clubs. Looking at the schedule I realized that all the older students still had class while I was holding my club. And all the other kids were flying out of school to catch the bus back to town. I was working hard to remedy this when my assistant director informed me that I would no longer lead clubs after school, but instead would be assigned classes that were free throughout the day. Now, this is not ideal to me, since I feel this will lead to a lack of consistency as the free classes will change throughout the year. And it feels a lot less like a club when students are required to come. And it seriously limits who I get to work with. But the upside is I have a definite time and place to lead my club unaffected by the confusing end of day schedule. And I can still treat it like a club despite the fact it screams 'lesson'. Furthermore, I should have more than four at each club, though 4 is honestly a better number than 25.

Sports club has been treated the same way. I now have assigned classes as opposed to willing students after school. But I've been held up by my bike wreck and the Ukrainian postal system. I wanted to first teach kids the wonders of cycling. Unfortunately, the week before my first club I wrecked my bike. I held club anyway but it was rather pointless since I didn't have a bike to demonstrate on or even just ride with the kids. It lasted a whopping 5 minutes. But I was determined to at least make a showing. My next idea was to teach the kids American football with the footballs that had been sent from the States recently. Well, despite being pestered everyday by kids wanting to play, I still have no package after 5 weeks. Luckily, my mom and Diane came to visit bearing frisbees from Half Moon Outfitters. Diane and I taught a group of 6th graders ultimate frisbee which went over rather well. So until I can get a few footballs, the plan is to keep teaching ultimate. And my bike is somewhat fixed so I'm still going to go for rides with the kids after school, though I'm not going to call it club.

The games during breaks have been a blast, though they are complete chaos. I have kids screaming and laughing for a blazing 15 minutes. I just teach them camp style games I've learned and play with them. If it's an older group I'll do team building stuff like the 'lap sit' and 'human knot'. Sometimes I'll go to our 'game room' and all the kids will be there, and other times they don't show. So I'm learning to check the schedule first and go grab the right class as soon as the bell rings. Not sure how much these games fit in with Peace Corps goals but I'm sure having fun doing it. Somebody help me rationalize it!

Just last week I was told to open the weight room for 9th-11th graders. I took Diane down with me (it's in the basement) and it was hilarious. Immediately shirts came off and new maxes were reached on every apparatus. I didn't realize it but most of the kids down there shouldn't have been, as they were supposed to be in class. A teacher came down yelling at them and drove the delinquent boys out. Luckily I didn't get in trouble.

Now, they've changed my whole schedule so that I work everyday, but only the second half. This is a little better honestly, as it provides more consistency, especially since the schedule is set to repeat every week, a phenomenon which didn't exist with the previous one. There are two major downsides to this schedule though. First, I have been spending the days I had free working with other schools and organizations, which will be greatly marginalized since I only have a few hours in the morning to do such work now. Second, I will be dependent on my bike to get to school since the last bus going to school leaves at 7:30 am. My bike has proven itself rather untrustworthy. Otherwise I'll have to take a taxi which will get expensive if I have to do it everyday, which is possible in the depths of winter. We'll see how this works for now.

Unfortunately I often find myself improvising in situations I'm not so qualified to be in. I wish I knew better how to teach English, how to organize a workout, the finer points of healthy lifestyles. Instead I'm making it all up as I go, which makes me question my effectiveness. And it's hard enough to gain credibility without speaking the language. It kicks up a notch when you look like you have no idea what your doing, because you don't.

But I'm still idealistic and uncompromising like always. I'm taking the cards that are continually being dealt and doing the best I can with them. And like in poker, bluffing can be the road to success.

Meet Belo!

So Belo wins! Alright, the name comes from a shortened form of the street I live on named Belousova. Basically it's a mean hill with trolley tracks and tons of potholes which make it impossible to get any momentum going. And I have to ride some portion of this hill to go anywhere. Luckily I live halfway up it. I like the name too because Belo means handsome man I believe in Portuguese, and it's close to 'Velo' or French for bicycle, and also the beginning of the word for bike in Russian, 'velosiped'. And the Russian letter for 'V' is a B, so an ignorant American would pronounce it Belo instead of Velo if written in Russian. So the name hits many different levels, if you use a lot of imagination. Plus, it was the name of the emcee at the last circus I went to, and that can't help but bring back good memories (Steph, I belobrate a little everyday!) Furthermore, Belousova Street has claimed Belo for the time being as I had a crash going down the hill trying to cross the trolley tracks. After I myself am repaired I will set to fixing up my beloved though hateful Belo.

The other name in question was after my favorite street to ride in town which follows a ridgeline, and is named after the local communist hero, Artyom. So there was good reason for that name as well, though I think Belo fits more perfectly. For those of you interested, here is the list of names of my other bikes you may have met:

Ginny- the handpainted green single-speed Kmart bike

Lump- the goofy frankenstein blue and silver Del Sol

Cliff- the new black carbon fiber Jamis

Comment with your guesses as to the origins of these names!

The story of (insert bike's name here)

I had the initial tune up done on my bike by my counterpart’s father. Of course he did all the work and I didn’t get to touch it. Then on my way to the train station one day my rear wheel fell apart to the point that I melted the hub from the friction of the disjointed parts. Then I drug my bike back to my apartment and wore a hole in the tire since the back wheel wouldn’t role.

So I bought a new wheel without a coaster brake hub, an 8 speed freewheel since I couldn’t find a single at the time, a set of caliper brakes, and new pedals. Of course to start with I didn’t even have a screwdriver to take off the original wheel. Then I needed to drill holes to attach the new brakes, but didn’t have a drill. Then I couldn’t get the new pedals to fit. Well, I got the left one to fit, but the right one wouldn’t budge.

So I called the handicrafts teacher at school who has already done a ton of work on my apartment, and the next day he brought over a drill and some other tools. Tried out the new wheel but the axle was too wide. So we took off a spacer, manhandled the frame and got it to fit. Then we drilled the frame and got the brakes installed. So far so good, except I still couldn’t get the right pedal on.

So he told me to come to his parents’ house the next day and we would try to rethread the crank. I went over and we worked on it with no luck. In the meantime, he handed me a tin of grease and told me if I didn’t grease and adjust all the bearings we would just have to go through all of this again. Didn’t have to tell me twice.

So I spent the next several hours figuring out how to take apart my bike without a stand or the proper tools. At one point we technically made a tool. And I used several odd combinations of tools to get the job done, including a chisel and ball peen hammer to tighten a lock ring. Mike Goodman’s words repeated in my head, “any mechanic can work on a good bike. The poor bikes separate the men from the boys.” I know I’m not there yet, but this bike is putting me on the fast track to being able to fix anything.

It felt so good to have blackened hands and busted knuckles again. I know my bike now; every bearing has been inspected, packed with grease, and adjusted by my hands; I found the new nut to tighten the seat back to the springs; I tied the brake housing to the frame with a cut up rubber band; I decided where I wanted the brake levers; I know how we rethreaded the bolt on the right pedal so it would fit; I chose the drop bars and angled them perfectly. All this to Ukrainians’ dismay, as it just really isn’t proper to do what I’ve done to a bike.

I feel like I don’t have to fight my bike anymore. I wanted my own bike; a little piece of me. I have that now, and relish the independence it brings. If it breaks, I know it’s my fault, and I welcome the challenge to fix it. Here’s me asserting my control. It’s really kind of sad that I place so much significance on two wheels. But if I can keep control over this one thing, then maybe I can deal with the lack of control on the rest of my life. So now I’m off to tighten the bottom bracket that comes loose every couple of days since I don’t have the right tools to tighten it, and I’ll probably have to tighten the headset again at some point this weekend…

Americana in Donetska

Last Friday I got a text message from my friend Maxim inviting me to the opening ceremony of the new, state of the art Donbass Arena built in Donetsk. I had heard rumors of the show planned to christen it, including the supposed appearance of either Beyonce or Madonna. So I cancelled the other plans I had made and got excited for a show that was purported to be on the scale of an Olympic opening ceremony.

The show was set to begin at 8pm, and we were planning to leave at 6pm. Now, my UGA, Saturday in Athens mind was a little uncomfortable with this schedule, considering we live an hour’s drive from Donetsk. But we arrived in Donetsk at 7, parked in one of those lots that only a person from Donetsk would know about, walked at the appropriate pace while eating sunflower seeds, squeezed through the gates, and arrived at our seats precisely at 8. Needless to say I was impressed.

The stadium is an international affair. The signage around the building is bilingual, English and Russian. Of course, a modern stadium being the American invention that it is, most of the words are simply transliterated, as English words such as ‘arena’ and ‘grand show’ have made their way into the Russian language. The PA announcements were in Russian and British English, which made me grin at times. I can’t decide who butchers the language more, Brits or Southerners. The background music was mundane American ‘80s music.

The show also was polluted with English globalization. The opening number was Queen’s ‘We will rock you’ capped off with ‘We are the champions’. Beyonce of course sang in English, but it was painful to watch her feeble attempts to interact with a Russian speaking Ukrainian crowd with no translation the same as she would a crowd of teenage girls in Atlanta. Needless to say there were some awkward silent moments that were almost as painful as watching an overconfident opening act at the Georgia Theater.

The crowd was dressed in their glamorous post Soviet style. Not uncommon was the leopard print evening gown, and it was a different experience hearing the deafening click of stiletto heels on the concrete stairs of the stadium. The crowd was not left wanting as pop singers danced on the emblematic coal bins representing the entire premise behind the stadium, mining, the region’s strongest industry. Dima Bilan, winner of Eurovision put on a rather powerful performance simply standing in the middle of the pitch. It was pretty awesome to see a guy command an audience without the prop of a stage and distracting pyro. Still not sure if he was actually singing or using a backtrack, but at times that verdict was still out for Beyonce.

The major parties in the Ukrainian government took full advantage of the internationally viewed spectacle, constantly remarking that Ukraine had achieved the best stadium in Europe. And from what I saw they very well could be right. There were moments reminiscent of Bush getting booed at major public events on national television towards the end of his tenure as President. But the polite Ukrainian crowd spared their president’s dignity as they gave him a rather modest, but void of boos, round of applause as he was introduced, despite his single digit approval ratings. However, Yuschenko was rather overshadowed as his rival and probable winner of the upcoming January election Yanukovich received deafening applause before giving his speech in the center of the pitch. Of note was the fact that Yuschenko addressed the crowd in Ukrainian and Yanukovich spoke Russian, but with a heavy Ukrainian dialect.

I was a little upset with myself at how much I enjoyed the Beyonce concert. You gotta hand it to the girl, she’s hot, got a ridiculous voice, and 10 years of music I’ve danced to. I was displeased that I couldn’t get one of her songs out of my head as we walked to McDonald’s after the show, which lasted 3 hours with the full Beyonce concert. So Anna and I sang the Alexander Rybok Eurovision winning tune ‘Fairytale’ which quickly displaced Beyonce. You have to hear the song to understand.

All this combined for a kind of weird experience. I would have never paid a dime to see Beyonce in America. But I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see my compatriot in Ukraine as the country asserted its presence on the global stage. But it was strange to see how much that assertion came at the expense of American and British influence. But Ukraine has showed, with time, it’s well poised to compete with the best of them for its place in the international spotlight.

Well, enough with all the pageantry, I’m ready to watch Shaktar win one for the home crowd.

Calm before the storm, hopefully, I really want a storm

Alright, here’s the quick lowdown on what’s been up since I finished camp. I came back from camp totally wiped. I slept for pretty much two days, and then did my best not to do anything for the next week so I could get over what at that point was a two week long cold that was getting worse. Of course, I tried to do nothing, but my counterpart had other ideas. She wants me to make ‘friends’, so I got a text on the first full day I was home telling me one of her teacher friends was waiting for me so we could go for a walk. Well, realizing my need for friends I complied and went to meet a rather attractive girl from Russia who’s my age. We had a good walk and she showed me pictures on her camera of the runway modeling gig she had in Norway. Then she invited me to the salt lakes with her the next week. So we went and had a really nice time, despite the awkward language barrier. It was shaping up to be a good ‘friendship’ but she was only in town for a couple of weeks before she headed off to Crimea, then on to Russia where she lives with polar bears. The day she left, and only when asked who she was traveling with, she informed me she had a boyfriend.

The next week I went back to my stomping grounds of Svatagorsk and observed a Peace Corps run camp. It was run solely by volunteers on the theme of HIV/AIDS prevention. It felt good to be back where I had spent the last three weeks. Despite the exhaustion and sickness, I have tons of great memories of that city. Got to meet several volunteers and actually speak English with Americans, which was amazing. I felt a little awkward not having any official role at the camp so I did my best to find odd jobs.

Left the camp early because it was made aware to me that I had been given a ‘study’ at my school and it needed to be cleaned before Monday, when the state was to come and inspect our school. I was a little nervous since I’d heard teachers refer to their classrooms as studies, which made me think I might have to prepare an entire classroom before Monday. Turned out just to be a small office with a desk and a couple of closets. Awesome! This means I have a place to go prepare lessons, somewhere to keep my bike, a place to change clothes after riding to school, and a place to invite teachers to have tea. I really am lucky to have an office.

Since my ‘study’ preparation only took an hour, I was free to go to Kiev that weekend and meet up with my cluster from training. We rented an apartment and just chilled for Saturday and Sunday. It was great seeing them again and getting to speak more English with natives. We spent Saturday evening just people-watching on the main boulevard soaking in the last bits of summer. It was so relaxing. I also loaded up on some souvenirs for my family and got some more movies, music, and shows on my hard drive.

Came back home and started trying to get the last few settling in tasks accomplished. Managed to get a usb modem with internet service from a mobile carrier. So I pretty much spent the next few days updating everything on my computer, reconnecting with as many people as possible and catching up on the news. I got all this set up through a friend, Anna, I had met at one of the graduations I went to earlier. She and her husband, Maxim, are pretty health conscious and like to run, so Maxim showed me a good quiet track they typically run on. It felt good to get back to exercising, and we’re going to try to run twice a week from now on. Maxim was heading to Donetsk on business on Tuesday so he invited me to go with him so I could shop for bike parts. We were successful and I got my first taste of Donetsk, a perfectly sized city that is the center of the region I live in.

The next day I went back to Donetsk to meet with a couple of volunteers I had met at the camp the week before. Went shopping and found some deals on a basketball and shoes, got a webcam, and found the freewheel which I was wanting for my bike.

I spent the next weekend working on my bike. Seriously, I spent almost every hour of daylight working on my bike or being entertained by the people gracious enough to let me use their tools. It was as if their fee for their time and tools was for me to come have lunch or supper and do them the honor of visiting. It really almost made me feel guilty. But Ukrainians always put you in a position to be nothing but rude if you refuse. They’re crafty these people.

After getting my bike in order, skype set up, a new toilet seat, reminding myself I’m American, getting my phone to actually connect to my computer, eating the box of oreos and cooking with the Italian dressing my nana sent, and thoroughly cleaning my bathroom, I felt accomplished, though none of these things had anything to do with my job or Peace Corps. I started feeling pretty slackerish.

I hadn’t talked to Peace Corps or my school in over a week, and was starting to wonder what was up, especially since at this point the first day of school was only a week away. I called my counterpart and we worked up a speech for me to give at the county-wide teacher’s conference on that Thursday. I took care of some documents Peace Corps needed with my Russian tutor on Wednesday. Then on Thursday I gave my speech, which was rather humorous since at one point the crowd thought I said ‘toys’ instead of ‘clubs’, when I really said neither. They laughed, I laughed, I told them I’d only been speaking Russian for 4 months, they gave their support, and all was well. My director gave me the flowers some students gave him, so I win.

Afterwards a reporter interviewed me for the paper, and turns out he’s been a counterpart for Peace Corps in the past, and works with a major environmental organization. Networking is so easy. The best part about this guy is he organizes a bike race every year. I missed it by a week. Disappointing. After the meeting my Russian tutor informed me I was to introduce myself at a meeting of all the foreign language teachers the next day. This went a little better since 90% of these teachers could understand me in English. They gave me chocolate, I win again.

I’m feeling better now that I’ve reconnected with the school and had a conversation with my regional manager. Everyone seems pleased with me at the moment, which is all I can ask for. I was stressing about not having my lessons planned out, but when I questioned the person in charge of scheduling what to expect, she said the schedule wouldn’t be ready until after the first week of school. So I’m just outlining my lessons for now until I know what ages I’m teaching so I can choose the appropriate topics and activities. I don’t feel as much of a slacker if my school doesn’t plan any farther ahead than me.

This past weekend I was invited to the ‘grand show’ at the opening of Donbass Arena in Donetsk, the “best arena in Europe” according to President Yuschenko. At this point if you’re still reading, thank you. I’m going to cut it off here and add a couple of posts over the next couple of days of the stories that I couldn’t go too in-depth in this post. Sorry for just recounting events and focusing much about impressions. I expect my posts to become more about thoughts and feelings once my schedule becomes a little more monotonous. And sorry, but I’m writing this blog partly as my journal to keep up with my doings in Peace Corps, not just to entertain you J. So be looking for a couple more posts this week.

This might shed a little light on what I'm doing

Here's the transcript of the speech I'm about to give to a conference of teachers from the 13+ schools in my city this Thursday. Unfortunately it got translated into Russian and doesn't say half of this, but I didn't write it for nothing, so I'm posting it here for you guys to get the short and sweet version of what Peace Corps expects me to do here.

Speech to Konstantinovka Schools Conference 25/8/2009

Let me begin by telling you a little about myself. I am from America, the city of Atlanta in the state Georgia. I finished university and have a bachelor’s degree in Sociology. After university I wanted to live in another country, help children, and study the Russian language. Therefore, I joined Peace Corps.

Peace Corps is a governmental organization which is non-political and non-religious. There are three objectives for Peace Corps: to help people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women, to help promote better understanding of Americans in these countries, and to help promote better understanding of other countries to Americans.

My project is called Youth Development. There are 7 focus areas for my project: 1. Developing Employment Skills 2. Teaching Entrepreneurship Skills 3. Teaching Information Technology Skills 4. Teaching Healthy Lifestyles 5. Developing Citizenship Skills 6. Building Environmental Awareness 7. Recreation. As a Youth Development volunteer I will teach at the Novodmitrovka Lyceum about topics within the focus areas of youth development, and I will also coordinate extracurricular activities that correspond to these focus areas. I will also help English teachers during classes as a native speaker is a valuable resource. In the summers I will plan camps for students which focus on Youth Development areas and I will offer students the opportunity to attend other Peace Corps facilitated camps.

Beyond helping students I would also like to educate and train teachers in the topics I teach within Youth Development focus areas. This way my project will continue after I leave in 2 years. I would also like to involve parents in any way possible to reinforce the information I provide students at school. My primary site is Novodmitrovka Lyceum, but I am open to working with the community and partnering with other organizations to serve as many children in Konstantinovka as possible. I look forward to an exciting two years and building wonderful relationships that will last a lifetime. If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I am open to any suggestions. Thank you.

Camp

Back to the story of my experience at a Ukrainian camp. So after all the chaos of arriving at the camp had settled, I sat down to a cup of tea. I attempted to negotiate my job at the camp, and suggested I lead an English club. They didn't think this was such a good idea as none of the kids speak good enough English. Thus the purpose of an English club, but whatever. So they said they'd think about it and I would talk to the director later.

In the meantime I was directed to a cabin where some people were frantically cleaning and decorating. I had arrived in between sessions and these were counselors preparing their cabins for the next set of campers. I helped them decorate, which was hilarious, me being so craftsy and creative and all. I left to go to the bathroom around lunchtime and got caught by a crew of the senior staff. They sat me down and made eat a huge lunch and gave me the 3rd degree about what I was doing in Ukraine, and furthermore what I was doing at their camp. Further negotiations ensued over my job description, but nothing more concrete resulted. I returned to my cabin an hour later than the 10min I predicted, and was met with exhausted eyes and irritation. Of course they knew where I'd been while they continued to slave away at their daunting task. This came to be a running theme for my tenure at camp: every little circle wanted me to join, but I kept getting caught in the middle making more or less everyone mad. It became rather uncomfortable at times, except for the times I could play one clique against another for my own purposes.

The camp was a privatized remnant of a former Soviet children's rest camp. What that means is imagine a typical traditional American kids' summer camp, and that's what this was. For those of you who worked at Kanakuk, you'd feel right at home. The layout of the camp is just what you'd imagine: cabins sprinkled around a lake with a mess hall opening out onto a parade like square with flagpoles, a barn-like auditorium, crafts-rooms, soccer field, basketball court, pool, infirmary, etc. There were 400 kids and a ratio one counselor to 20 kids. You do the math, this was a huge camp, and the staff was overrun. Wakeup was at 8am, breakfast at 9, clean the cabins till 10, activities till lunch at 1pm, nap from 2-4, snack after lunch, usually loaded with sugar, activities till supper at 6, then either a party or disco from 8 till 10:30, snack then bed at 11. There were the typical 'olympic' style competitions with sports and crafts, there were performances almost every-other day, there were excursions to the monastery in the city, etc. So there was the semblance of keeping campers busy, but their days were still filled with loads of downtime. They got downright bored. Each session lasting 3 weeks made it hard to keep kids entertained.

It was decided that I would float throughout the cabins, help the counselors and play games with the kids, singling out the English speaking kids, if I found them, to give them a little tutoring. I worked my way through all 10 cabins, working with an age range from 4 yrs to 17 yrs. It was really brilliant to be so involved in every age at once and to see the changes maturity brings. I thought I would find my favorite age, but I loved them all, which really surprised me. I felt reasonably successfull with all of them. Each day I more or less acted as a counselor, without the responsibility of a counselor, which was great. None of the kids would listen to me since I wasn't their counselor, so all I could do was entertain. I taught them as many games from camps I could remember, played a good bit of soccer, and taught them basketball and frisbee, with a rather failed attempt at playing ultimate. One evening, they set up stations throughout the camp for the kids to rotate through, and I was in charge of a station, which of course was focused on 'American' games. I taught games from ring around the rosie to making the upper cabins do the human knot. I worked with 400 kids in one hour that night.

The crazy part of camp was the parties and performances. Whichever cabin I happened to be embedded in for the day would typically give me some role in their performance for the night. I played characters like a crazy inventor and a bumblebee, depending on the theme of the night. And usually the counselors would choreograph a dance which I would stumble my way through. One night the theme was 'country dance'. So I brought out my best line dancing moves and taught the counselor I was working with the two-step. Somehow, it became my job to choreograph and perform a country dance to Chattahoochee by Alan Jackson. It was a huge hit. Too big actually, cause the director of events asked me to choreograph a similar dance for all the counselors on the last night. We worked our tails off, rehearsing until 2 in the morning the last few nights of camp, but we pulled off a pretty elaborate and amazing performance, capped off by me solo dancing a traditional cossack dance. It was an absolute blast.

I only floated through the cabins for the first two weeks. During that time I did remain consistent with a cabin of middle schoolers by eating all my meals with them. I became a revolutionary when I actually sat with the kids instead of the other counselors. It was so funny to hear the kids begging me each day to sit at their table, and the looks of utter disappointment if I sat at a different table. I was excited to see another counselor follow suit in another cabin. It was breaking down the barrier between counselor and camper that so strongly existed at this camp that brought the most appreciation from the camp director.

After the first two weeks, I moved into a cabin permanently. The kids were aged 8-15 in this one cabin, which was why I chose it; the counselors really needed some help. So I tried my hand at disciplining kids in Russian and entertaing them long after the newness of being an American had worn off. At this point I was worn out. I got a bad cold in the middle of the second week, and despite taking a couple of rest days out by a beautiful river, found myself greatly deprived of rest. The mental stress didn't help either as I was the only American at the camp and could only struggle through English with the couple of counselors who had studied it in school. For the most part my whole day was spent speaking and listening to Russian from 8am to 2am. It was great for the first week because I could feel my Russian improve significantly. But after that I just became fatigued and fended off conversation like a boxer against the ropes avoids blows. But I made it through, got home and slept for two days.

Camp was an incredible experience that I feel really set me up for successfull service for the next 2 years. For one thing, I met loads of awesome people from my town that I will be friends with once they finally get back from camp. I met a potential counterpart at one of my partner organizations. In terms of networking, it was a huge success. For another thing, I gained valuable insight as to how Ukrainians do camp and what they expect. Alot of volunteers get to experience Ukrainian summer camp, but few stay for an entire session, so I feel like I have alot to bring to the table for Peace Corps run camps. And finally, I got to do what I came here for, which was pour into kids. As usual I'm not sure what I accomplished, but I poured every ounce I had into those kids. I tried to love them as much as I could despite the language and cultural barriers. I didn't teach them anything official, but I hope I still taught. I'll never know what I imparted, but time will tell.

Life has been a bit of a blur since camp. I'll try to catch you up on my intrigues since then soon.

Peace

Control

So Ukraine has it out for me to teach me about dealing with control. If you know me well enough, you know that pretty much nothing happens in my life unless I let it happen, and I get a little freaked out when I feel like my grip is loosening. I know it appears on the outside that I live pretty loose and carefree, but just take my word for it, it's organized chaos.

Four weeks ago, on a Monday, I am talking with my counterpart and she nonschalantly drops the hint that my director wants me to go to a rest camp. That's all she said, and so I figured I'd let that one play itself out when the time comes. I was happily getting into a routine and setting up shop in my new apartment. No need to complicate things. The next day, I'm meeting with my Russian tutor who also works at my school, and she tells me I'm to go to the rest camp until the end of August. At this point I realize I might be screwed.

So after prying from my counterpart that a rest camp is actually a children's camp that I would really be expected to work at, I ask for more details. She did not have more details, she would call me later that day and let me know. When she did call me, she informed me that I would be leaving on Thursday and I needed to pack my things so I could go raise children at this camp until the end of August. When I asked her for more information she had none. So the next day I tried one more time to get complete information, and nothing worked.

I didn't know where I was going, what I was going to be doing, what to pack, how long exactly I would be there, how I would get there, nothing. So I buckled and called my regional manager. He calls and gets more information out of my director, and attempts to negotiate a shorter stay, and a more definite job description. When he calls me back he is a little flustered. Apparently my director cannot understand why I wouldn't want to stay so long since it's such an amazing camp. But my regional manager asked me one more time if I thought two weeks was a better time frame, regained his resolve and made another attempt on my director.

In the meantime, on Thursday, I got a call from my counterpart telling me to be at the train station on Friday morning. I packed my big backpack with as much teaching material as I could fit, took a general selection of clothing, my frisbee, and med kit. Not knowing where negotiations stood at that point, I boarded a train and headed off to camp with the assistant director of my school. When I arrived at camp I was warmly welcomed and was given a document to sign. In my best attempt at Russian I deciphered that I was signing a paper defining the length of my stay at 2 weeks. I quickly signed and then began the process of figuring out exactly what I was supposed to be doing at this camp. I later get a call from my regional manager who is still flustered and tells me he still hasn't finalized anything with my director, but to go ahead and head to camp and we'll work it out later. To his surprise I inform him that I'm already there and have signed a document agreeing to our demands. He gives his blessing and wishes me a happy two weeks.

I wish you could have read my mind through that entire process. I had just reigned in all the confusion and complication involved with moving to a new apartment, in a new city, in a foreign country. The next two months were set. I was happy, comfortable, feeling accomplished. Then out of the blue I was told to uproot and head off into the unknown. I seriously about freaked out. Especially when I couldn't get solid information, and felt like I had no say in the matter. But as you will see in the next installment of my blog, this was about to be one of the best things that could happen to a newly initiated Peace Corps Volunteer.

Outage

Hey guys, might be some silence here for the next couple of weeks. I'm being sent to a kids' "rest camp" to help "raise" the children who are there. I think that means I'm leading English camps and games. And I think I get to go because there are like 4 kids from my school who are there. Anyways, I have no clue where this thing is or what awaits in terms of communication, so wanted to let you know I'm alive and well fixing up my apartment and damage controlling the decisions my superiors make for me. But I'm pretty pumped to have something remotely productive to do for the next two weeks.

In other news, I now have a bike, though it's not up to my standards, yet. I just got back from a trip to a salt lake, which surprisingly to me was super salty. Duct tape works miracles in Ukraine as it now pretty much holds my apartment together. Also got a schedule worked out for my first semester which is pretty much the requisite English, healthy lifestyles, and leadership teaching, but add to that a cycling club! Yep, I'm gonna try to teach these kids how to do basic maintainence on their bikes and then teach bike safety on short group rides. It could potentially be amazing or be a disaster, just the way I like it.

My mail works amazingly fast especially for letters and bubble mailers, so let me know and I'll email you my address. Not really into posting my address on the blog since who knows who might try to come find me. Hey, if you send something now, it will get here right when I get back from camp!

Hopefully I'll have some good stories to tell next time I post!

Ben

Settling In

Alright, so much to say. Sorry for radio silence the past couple weeks. Got to Kiev for Swearing In Conference and was nowhere near internet. Then got to my site and the internet club is constantly swamped with little hooligans playing WOW and Counter Strike. And then I can't help from indulging myself with some gchat and cnn. So I finally write. That said, email me and I'll give you my new address so you can send me letters and now packages!

So Swearing In Conference was where Peace Corps Ukraine wrapped up training with a ton of seminars on how to be the perfect volunteer and I met my counterpart. Now, a counterpart is a person involved in an organization which invites you to serve as volunteer for two years. They are Ukrainian and work with the volunteer to plan projects and serve effectively. Mine just happens to be a woman near my age who teaches English at the school which will be my primary site. Yes, this means she speaks English! She is super helpful and we are already good friends. Plus she is getting married this fall which means that's just one more party I get to go to. After the conference we loaded my stuff into a train car and embarked on a 19 hour journey to my new city.

My site is a rather large city in southeastern Ukraine. It's a Russian speaking industrial city with something like 100,000 people. I would probably compare it to Dalton, but without the carpet. Unfortunately there is a cookie factory near where I live which makes the place smell like chocolate chip cookies all the time. And there are none to be found in stores. Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink. My school is called a lycaeum, which to the best of what I can figure out means it is partly funded by the city and partly funded by sponsors, aka huge factories. So it is a pretty nice school. It is actually outside my city in a very small village. Less than 300 people live in my school's village, which means there are way more spots at the school than there are children. That means children from throughout the big city can apply to come to my school. And if they don't perform well enough they can be kicked out. So it's kind of like a private school in that way.

I'm living in a private, one room apartment, meaning I have a kitchen, bathroom, and living room/bedroom. The coolest part is the balcony. It feels great to be living on my own again, but I miss the good life with my host family. I have to cook constantly and don't have half the conveniences their apartment had. Plus, it's really quiet. So what have I been doing to stay busy?

Well, I've been around the school alot, attending meetings and graduations and helping teachers clean their rooms. Several people have been checking in on me, even cooking for me and doing my laundry. There is a mindset here that a bachelor living on his own will surely starve. But I made sure that nobody has cooked "for" me, but has taught me to cook. Hopefully I will prove myself to them eventually. Graduation was nuts. It's like a combination of American prom and graduation that lasts until sunrise. I'd go into details but that's a whole nother post. There was also a graduation for 9th grade since they have the opportunity to pursue other educational opportunities at this point at other institutions. Of course I had to give speeches at both. Luckily my English teacher translated for me. I was also taken to an awesome lake (or pond, depending on your standards for stagnant bodies of water) where we had a picnic and drank out of a natural spring. I went with the head of my school's equivalent of the PTA and her sons, so it was actually productive in terms of my project. I've been able to meet quite a few students, including the one who is my neighbor. My neighbors are great and I see them everywhere, so it feels good to have them looking out for me. Otherwise I've been exploring my new city and watching a ton of movies.

I can't believe I've only been here a week. I have to keep pinching myself and remind myself Rome wasn't built in two years, much less a week. There are lots of cool things to tell but I think they will each have their opportunity to appear in a post soon. Alright, I know there's not many details, but that's pretty much the past two weeks. If there's something you really want to know comment or email me and I'll indulge you. Here's to hoping my tv will pick up the Tour de France!

Peace,
Ben

Transition

So last Thursday my grandfather died. He had a fatal case of pneumonia and was on a ventilator. Coming off the ventilator was his idea and he knew I loved him as he was dying. Know that it's hard to grieve thousands of miles away and I pray that none of you find yourself in the position to grieve away from those you love. But my group is supporting me immensely and it has been great to be able to talk to my family over the phone at least. But I'm really doing fine and as for me, it couldn't have come at a better time. I was told just hours after finishing my final test for training, a 25 minute conversation with a Russian instructor I had never met to determine my "official" language ability. I was at a beautiful lake with a beach when Mom called. It really was about as perfect as it could be, and I have a couple days' break to work through it. The funeral is today.

So I'm done with training and am spending my last few days at my training site. I will go to Kiev Monday for the Swearing In Conference. On Monday I will find out where I will serve for the next two years. Also at the conference I will meet my counterpart and do some final training activities. It's a time of celebration, anxiety, excitement, and nervousness. I will update as soon as I can about where I will be going.

Peace,
Ben

Back to Life

So I’m finally back to being human. Much better than the last post, and much better thanks to the support from everyone back stateside over the last couple weeks. I’ve been run ragged planning a summer camp and a community project, and then conducting each. But that’s all over and put to bed and I’m better for it. So what’s to be expected now is a huge rush to the end of training which will be mostly language focused, and then going to site with absolutely nothing to do. It’s scary and relieving all at the same time. It will be nice to relax, but I’m not sure what I will do with myself. Since training began I’ve already cleaned up all the files on my computer, reorganized my itunes, read 6 books, and reorganized my room countless times. And that’s with all that’s been going on. So my first care package needs to be a ton of books and movies, and a bike if you can fit it in.

Our camp was leadership based with some gender issues thrown in. I planned and taught a lesson about leadership qualities and spheres, with an emphasis on students recognizing their own leadership roles. I also planned a ton of games and led the games for one of the three days of camp. The games were awesome since they had never played anything we taught them so they loved all our games, almost to the point of annoyance since they kept begging for the same games over and over. All we had to do was think back to every camp we’d ever been to and take our pick. We had a sixth grade class of about 20 students and had the camp at the school. It was really a lot of fun as I hope the pictures will show.

The community project coincided with the June 1st holiday of the Protection of Children’s Rights. There was a county wide celebration in my city and my cluster set up a game area outside the concert hall for kids to play our games, get their faces painted, and make friendship bracelets. We couldn’t get the kids to go home for wanting their faces painted, and it didn’t take long for us to run out of water balloons. Hopefully no parents are mad at us for sending kids home wet. The plans for the day were a mess as the festival was meant to take place at the stadium. It got moved the day of to the House of Culture. Our part was supposed to happen from 9-11:30am and then we would go to the concert. But we found out around noon that the concert started at 10am. This was all summed up perfectly when one of our Ukrainian counterparts shrugged and said to me “This is Ukraine.” But we were super flexible and managed to accomplish everything we set out to do, though none of it looked how we expected it to look.

I’ll leave you with a story that has entertained most of my training group Ukraine wide. So one night I get up around midnight to leave my room to go to the bathroom. I try to open my sliding door but it only opens maybe 6 in. I’m perplexed as I really have to go, but cannot get the door to budge. I try to look outside my room to see what’s wrong but can’t get my head out. I take my camera and stick it out the door and take a picture. What had happened was my little host nephew’s toy dumptruck had fallen behind my door after I closed it, and was blocking the door from opening. No problem I think to myself and attempt to just force the door open. No luck. The truck was sitting on a piece of carpet so I try to reach out and pull it out with the carpet. No luck. After 30 minutes of attempting to get out of my room, I finally made enough noise to wake my host mother. She comes to find the carpet all messed up, me with an arm and a leg sticking out the door, my body wedged in the little opening. She looked at me like I was insane, then finally saw the truck wedged behind the door. She bout died laughing and freed me from my cell. The next morning my mom made me show my host dad how I had been barricaded in my room, and he bout died laughing. So it’s been a nice running joke around my cluster, and now the whole training group has been told I believe. The solution to the problem: my host dad stacked two trucks and tied them together so the one on top wouldn’t roll behind the door again. Didn’t seem to cross his mind there might be a better place for the trucks. Check out my pictures. I have pictures to prove it!

Well, it’s all down hill from here. I’ve got a major language exam next week, but all that matters is I pass it, and I feel good about my abilities. And it’s not like I have to worry about studying, since I speak Russian all day anyways. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far, but I’ve got a very far ways to go.

The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

So I’m needing a little confirmation that somebody is reading my blog. Please comment. Let me know you’re there. I’m feeling cut off from the world I once knew. And whatever you do, avoid Facebook since the internet’s so slow I can’t even post on walls. Email updates on what’s going on back home are amazing.

They say we will go through mood swings throughout training and the rest of service. Well, the confidence I was exuding a couple of weeks ago has taken a solid hit and sent me back down in the trenches.

Being sick was tough, but as I fought off my cold’s lingering hold, I received word that my grandfather was deathly sick with pneumonia, and it didn’t look good. My one major fear of leaving home for two years faced immanent realization. And though I hadn’t felt homesick for quite some time, I was pulled back into the misery of missing everything I left behind. And I’m not sure how, but all this served to weaken me so my confidence could be exposed and attacked. So now I feel as if my Russian will never be good enough, which won’t matter anyway since everyone seems to speak Ukrainian here, and my looming responsibilities at site seem impossibly challenging. Where I once felt comfortable I now feel like a stranger, unwelcome and unwanted.

Honestly this is all in my head, but training is so competitive we don’t exactly encourage each other all the time. And my pride keeps me from seeking solace from my competitors as it might reveal a crack in my armor. Staff from the office even gave us a speech about how if we were even thinking about quitting we should do it sooner than later. Don’t get me wrong. I’m nowhere near ready to give up. I’m just insecure, and a little lonely. And it’s not like I have any time to sit and reflect on any one success since now that I’m done teaching, my group has to plan an extracurricular activity we just found out about, a community project, and a three day summer camp for 6th graders, diaper deal to those of you who know what I’m talking about. And all this is due in a week as our project is on June 1st, and our camp starts on the 3rd.

Well, my grandfather is breathing on his own off the ventilator, the last lesson I taught was a resounding success all things considered, I only cough in the mornings now, I had a successful conversation with my host father without having to punt to my English speaking host sister or give up entirely, and I’m in Kiev. There are three weeks to go and the intense part will be over. I will graduate my cultural boot camp, be sworn in, and be blissfully sent to the middle of nowhere Ukraine all alone, an independent, functioning volunteer with a job to do. They said we would have mood swings. But they also said they would get shorter. I think I’m heading back up into no-man’s land.

Over the Hill

So I finally feel like I’m getting the hang of training and the end is in sight, when I get sick. And it’s hitting everybody, link cluster included. Started on Wednesday with a runny nose. No big deal, I’ve had a runny nose for about 3 months, must just be allergies. After I drug myself out of bed for class on Tuesday, it became obvious I was going to dehydrate through my nose. After the first 30 minutes of my tutoring I pretty much forgot all Russian, and English for that matter. Then I had to go teach a class, then suffer through a few more hours of class. I was miserable. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a true sinus infection. But two Benadryl and 13 hours of sleep later I felt a little better. Now it has moved down into my chest, but luckily I can at least think clearly. It’s really hard to speak Russian with a stuffy head.

So, three more cultural experiences to note. First, my cluster and link cluster went to Peregova Museum outside of Kiev, which is an open air collection of art and architecture throughout Ukraine’s history. And when I say open air, I mean acres and acres of exhibits in what could be useful farmland. And lucky for us, there was a massive craft fair going on. Of course none of us get paid enough to buy anything, but I found a couple of cheap, non-breakable trinkets for souvenirs. There was also some folk dancing and singing that was reminiscent of any folk festival and craft fair back home. Except that it was Ukrainian of course. No clogging or square dancing. But there were fiddles and mandolins, with the occasional accordion thrown in. It was really an amazing day and it was cool to see the old style Ukrainian villages.

Second, my cluster was invited to a “Ukrainian Discotech” which benefitted a charity. By Ukrainian they meant dress up in traditional Ukrainian clothes and come hang out with a bunch of teenagers. It was so cool. We picked out costumes from the costume closet of the House of Creativity and went and partied like we were in high school. Of course we Americans were picked on to take part in several embarrassing games. But it was so great to see some of the students we teach outside of class taking part and leading such a positive event.

Finally, this past Saturday was Victory Day in Ukraine. It basically is celebrated similar to Veterans or Memorial Day in America. Of course it commemorates the victory of WWII. It is interesting to feel the significance of WWII here. What we don’t feel about WWII in America is the consequence of having our homeland dominated, then the pride of driving the conquerors out to their defeat. The war is still very tangible here. They even dub certain cities “Hero Cities” depending on their valor during the war. It also keeps Ukrainians connected with their Soviet neighbors and Soviet past, and rightly so. The day was celebrated with a ceremony at the WWII memorial in town, with families and friends of those killed in the war laying flowers on the names of their loved ones. That afternoon there was a concert at which several dance troupes and singing groups, mostly traditional and folk, performed, including my host father. Then everyone went out for picnics and made merry for the rest of the day. There were supposed to be fireworks that night but they never happened, so we just hung out by the memorial talking to people we knew. It became evident how quickly we have integrated in this city as we said hi and shook hands at every turn, and even conducted a little business. We may not pass for Ukrainians yet, but we certainly have a lot of friends.

Things are starting to pay off and I feel like doing this on my own at site might be possible. The language barrier no longer seems to affect classroom management and my lesson plans are getting better and easier. Now I need to focus on my teaching skills specifically. We’ve been getting around decently with our Russian, and are finding people who speak enough English to supplement our shortfalls. And all the meetings we had at the beginning of training are starting to pay dividends as we look for support in planning our camp and community project. We just passed the halfway mark at training, and I’m starting to feel a little confidence that I’ll make it through.

Kiev

Another long and hard week. It was frustrating that the school changed its schedule without notice and I only got to teach for fifteen minutes, ten of which were my partner's responsibility. We had expected to alternate sections of the class and hers was the logical section to teach in the shortened schedule. This is something I've been told to get used to. Still felt a little more comfortable in the classroom. I teach civics this week.

The difficult week was made bearable by a trip to Kiev the previous Sunday. We went as a cluster with the guidance of our language instructors, who really just wanted to go shopping, and rightly so. We walked around what felt like the entire city, stopping in at churches and overlooks to see the sights. My favorite parts of the day were probably the most spontaneous. Our technical instructor decided the quickest way to get to the Peace Corps office was through the botanical gardens. Best shortcut ever. Beautiful mini magnolias were in bloom as we strolled through the gardens. We ate at a wonderful Ukrainian restaurant for lunch, but it was slightly overshadowed by the deep fried hotdog I had for 50 cents on the street. And the churches were nice, but it was the giant painted styrofoam eggs spread throughout the grounds that entertained us the most. We had a large photo op with the eggs in various poses rousing much laughter from the cluster and funny looks from Ukrainians. My truly favorite moment was walking into Mykhailivska church to the sounds of a gorgeous choir. We were lucky to have caught the singing on one of the few days they perform and at the only time that day. It made for a truly moving experience as I perused the gilded icons and frescoes covering the walls of the immaculate church. As our instructors shopped we were fortunate to people gaze for an hour while listening to the lovely tunes of America's greatest hits sung by a Ukrainian duo that would have rocked any frat party. And I must admit I got fries and a McFlurry. It was a really good day and a good reward for three weeks of training.

My bout with homesickness has subsided for the moment. It feels really good to say I've been here for a month, though the next 26 stand as a formidable peak to be conquered. Communications with my host family are getting better and my city is starting to feel like home. But I never get truly comfortable without some event proving that complacency is inherently forbidden in the Peace Corps experience. But there is also always a measure of success that rewards and motivates. I know I am more capable now than I was four weeks ago, and that makes it all worth it.

Christos Vozkres

Those words are still ringing in my head from my crazy Easter night. Yes, I said night. We left the apartment at 2:30 am, got to church at the end of mass, and stood with an Easter basket awaiting the priest’s blessing in the freezing cold. And I volunteered myself for this experience.

The ride to church was creepy with zombie-like characters emerging in the headlights carrying baskets to mass. It didn’t help that we drove about an hour away from my site in an unknown direction. After mass, we paraded around the church three times for good health in the coming year. The parishioners were gathered in a ring around the church standing behind their baskets filled with meats, hardboiled eggs, and a special sweet bread called Paska. It was a beautiful scene with the decorated baskets illuminated by candles and the young priest showering his flock with holy water as he blessed the baskets.

We left the church and went to my host father’s parents’ house. I was privileged to sit in the space over the oven with my host sister and her 4 year old nephew to warm up. A feast was prepared from our basket and we sat at the table. (Disclaimer: I know the opinion and impressionability of some of my readers on the subject of alcohol, but please understand that this next section is truly part of Ukrainian culture. Nobody became drunk. I was cut off well before even the babushkas, and nobody who drove drank a drop. That said…) Those of us not driving were all poured shots of homemade vodka. We toasted with the host who proclaimed “Chistos Vozkres!” as we responded “Voistenu Vozkres”. Christ is risen, indeed He is risen. This is how Ukrainians greeted each other for the rest of the day and the next. We ate the spread of various meats, eggs, and breads. My favorite part was cracking the eggs. I would use the tip of my egg to smash the tip of my opponent’s egg. Whoever’s egg broke lost. Then the eggs were turned to the other side for a rematch. I lost miserably to my little host nephew, who has since broken his leg, poor thing. A lot of food and a couple of rounds later, my host sister enlightened me that this was the first of several houses in which we would repeat this process. She wouldn’t answer me when I asked how many houses were left.

We moved on to the next house as the sun rose, giving context to the wild ride of a few hours before. The host of this house was my Ukrainian great aunt. My family found plenty of reasons to make jokes at my expense, such as my tendency to eat desert before tea, or have watery eyes after even smelling their version of spicy mustard. After leaving the humiliation of this house, I caught some sleep in the car on the way to my host sister and brother-in-law’s house, which provided fuel for more ridicule. Lucky for me this was the last stop for awhile. As I left the house after finishing another insurmountable feast, my brother-in-law joked that there was barbequed dog in the meat. This joke was lost on me as I had become a zombie at this point.

I finally crawled into bed around 11am. When I awoke at 3pm, my family was gone. They apparently continued in the same fashion as before throughout the rest of the day and the next since they had Monday off. I of course had class on Monday, something they could not understand despite my repeated explanations as my eyes drooped. Later, my cluster got together to figure out what had just happened to us. We had our own feast of course, and played cards. From what I can gather, the entire holiday centers on the church for everyone. It’s such a beautiful celebration, unpolluted by commercialism and strengthened by the bonds of family and friends.

Other events to note. I got to play basketball and volleyball with some of the locals and my cluster mates. It felt so good to just run around for awhile. My cluster cooked a killer meal of fajitas completely from scratch, including the tortillas. We watched two episodes of The Office afterwards. We’re starting at the beginning hoping to make it through the 4 seasons we have with us. And I taught my first class. It was a frustrating success. I taught a 7th grade class, which is something I’ve never done, about stress, which I’ve never taught, in Russian, which I barely speak. It’s hard to hone your teaching methods when your students can barely figure out what you’re saying, and vice-versa. But it went well all things considered, and my partner Dave and I managed to get or points across. I’ll be doing it again this week. Same class but I’ll teach about the negative effects of smoking.

A final story. My parents’ generation always talks about the good ole days when everybody’s parents were your parents, and news traveled lightening fast, often faster than you could get home. Well, I experienced this first hand after I visited an orphanage the other day. With no prior explanation on my part, as he walked in the door, my host father told me all about how I had visited the orphanage earlier that day. He even made sure to tell me who went with me. Note how he didn’t ask me anything, just wanted to inform me that he knew. I think he was a little proud to have an American in his house who is interested in the local children’s home. Thus is the small town atmosphere of my 10,000 person town. You can imagine what a village is like.

Till next post,
Ben

P.S. I posted this from Kiev!!!

Beets, They're Nature's Candy Don't Ya Know

Hey guys. I wish you knew how bad I want all of you to see the city I'm living in. I feel like I've stepped back in time, sort of. Culturally, I live in Mayberry. I went to the police station to get some info and watched as they booked two drunk old men with whom they joked and didn't even handcuff. And from the looks of things, that's about as bad as it gets in terms of crime around here. I'm sure there are rare cases of violence, but I think they're the exception. I'm yet to see a police officer on patrol. It's honestly comforting to live in a present day romanticized version of Southern American culture pre 1980. Kids ride their bikes all day and play in the myriad of playgrounds. Mom's stroll together pushing their babies. Everybody's outside, frantically cleaning, planting, and painting. They welcome spring on a grand scale here. It is their reward after such long winters.

Training continues to be rough. Tons of language, but lots of technical as well. This week alone we observed two classes, met with the Department of Family, and planted 'Trees of Friendship' at the Creative Center. The tree planting was interesting as we expected the event to be ceremonial. We ended up planting a small forest behind the center, along with a ceremonial tree out front. On top of all that, we each have planned a lesson which we will teach in a Ukranian classroom next Thursday, in Russian. I've got 7th grade. Yay. There is also 3 hours of Russian every day, with 1.5 hours of tutoring once a week. Ok, enough whining.

I was lucky to attend Orthodox mass with my host family last Sunday. It was just like the Orthodox mass I attended in Atlanta, which of course made me homesick. It made me really wish I understood the language so I could participate. The church was beautiful. It was wooden and painted a pastel blue. Of course icons were everywhere, none of which matched. Saint Gregory is the church's patron saint so he showed up everywhere. It was Palm Sunday, which for this church is Willow Sunday. I didn't figure this out until after the service. I kept wondering why my host mom put strange branches in my hand when we walked in the church. Now they're in a vase in my room. The singing was beautiful, and the language sounded its fullest. If you want the southern accent at it's finest, attend a Baptist church in south Georgia. Italian is best heard at the Vatican. Orthodox mass displays Russian at its greatest. I can't wait to be able to pray in Russian. The only thing that sort of surprised me about the service was that the priest heard confession before the service. This happened in public, with the priest covering the confessee's head with a shawl and putting his ear underneath. He would then pray over the confessee. It actually seemed really cool.

I continually find little nuances in my domestication that are lacking. I realized the other day that I've never hung laundry on a line before. There is apparently a right and wrong way to do it. Luckily my apartment in Atlanta lacked several modern conveniences so I could be comfortable with a few things, especially handwashing dishes. When I get to my site I'll probably have to handwash clothes and take bucket showers. But I've realized everything still gets done the same, even if it takes a little more time and effort. But it's nice, mind numbing work that makes me feel good.

In response to questions: My wardrobe is rather extensive compared to Ukrainians, and fellow volunteers. Though the other day, my host dad walked in to breakfast wearing the same exact outfit as me. I noticed he was wearing a different tie when he left. One of my cluster mates made fun of some of my jeans saying I looked European. Either way I still look really American. I do have to dress up most days, and on days we visit organizations I'm wearing tie and jacket. If you know me, then you know I kinda enjoy it. As for relaxing, I do a ton of reading like I said before. I've never put reading before TV, but I actually prefer it. Now I'm reading 'Away Down South' which discusses the identity of the American South and is really enlightening for Ukranian culture. They are similar in that both cultures are struggling out of an agrarian mindset to industrial/modern. I really want to write a paper on this topic right now. Sad. As for what I do for fun, there's not a whole lot of time, or a whole lot to do. We watched a movie as a cluster last week and went to a soccer match. Honestly, talking on the phone and using the internet are pretty sweet recreational activities.

This leads me to discuss Ukranian culture a little bit. They spend most of their time in their homes. Bars are unsafe, unpopular places that have terrible reputations. It's inappropriate to even be seen in a bar (sound familiar?). And people cook everything from scratch at home, which is often better than restaurants and cafes. So really, there's not much to do outside of class and my host family. And my cluster mates and I are always so worn out and sick of each other that the last thing we want to do is spend the rest of the night playing cards or uno.

Alright, long post. I hope you're still reading! But just know that everything is going well. I'm well taken care of and learning alot. Being from a small town in Georgia actually makes everything a little easier since the cultures match alot. I'm trying to control my expectations and just let myself be satisfied with "everything will be ok" -Jason Kofke. Till my next post, peace.

So I'm Here, and Here is Ukraine, Go Figure

So sorry about the tease of a post I left the other day. The story is the internet is really frustrating and it took me an hour to figure out how to find a back way into my blog, and then couldn't type in the text box. By the time I figured it out, I had one minute left, thus the onle line post. But now I have about 45 min. to get some thoughts out into cyberspace.

So I'm in a moderately sized town about an hour outside of Kiev. There are about 10,000 people. Those of you from Ringgold would appreciate it, as it strongly resembles at least Catoosa county. Imagine Ringgold with high rise Soviet Apartment buildings. No stop lights (or stop signs for that matter). But it is pretty cool, and I have warm water and electricity, none of which were guaranteed. As a matter of fact, I would classify the apartment I live in as much better than mine in Atlanta. And not only because it has a washing machine. But much of it's quality can be attributed to the care my family takes of it. It is spotless and impecably organized. Everything has a place, which seems impossible in such a tiny space. It has about three small bedrooms, a living room, kitchen/dining room, toilet, and bath. Don't get confused, the last two are separated. My host family is a mom, dad, and sister. The mom is a school teacher, the dad works in school administration for the county I think, and my sister studies English in Kiev, which is convenient since I have a personal translator at home. And yes, she lives in the apartment and commutes to Kiev everyday. She gets up at 5am. Crazy.

So for those of you itching to know, I'm learning Russian (yes!) and am training to be a secondary school teacher. Basically I will teach healthy lifestyles classes, IT classes, and work with extracurricular activities. I'll most likely plan a health/sports camp during the summers. The whole goal of my project will be to help youth gain employment, avoid unhealthy habits, and impart American culture and goodwill, not impose it. I still don't know where my final site will be, but I can guess that it will be at a much smaller city which will be Russian speaking. This narrows it down to the rest of Ukraine.

Training is incredibly intense. I haven't been so mentally tired, ever. Three hours of Russian language training a day, then visits to important community organizations or schools, often followed by a technical training session. After this I go home to an apartment filled with people whom I don't understand, and attempt to awkwardly communicate during dinner and often afterwards. Then there is homework and preparation for the next day.

I've actually had to change quite a bit. You knew me as a talkative, disorganized mess. Well, I make my bed every morning, iron my clothes, pick up my room, and barely say a word when around Ukrainians. There are just some points where it is impossible to communicate and I just give in to silence. I've read alot, journaled alot, and done morning and evening prayer. I've always wanted to spend time doing these things, but now realize I never did them because I spent so much time talking. I never realized how much I love communicating with people. Silence kills me. But no pain no gain I guess.

I do have a cell phone. I can call America for about 15 cents a minute, and text for about 10 cents. I can receive anything for free, so if you want my number, I'll send it to you through Facebook, since I figure it's the safest way to send such information. Not even sure if a cell number is sensitive.

I revise my statement of blog first email second. I really need to read stuff from home, so please send me emails, and consider my blog my reply maybe. I'll still try to reply to really specific stuff, and have no doubt, I will read any emails or Facebook posts or messages. I've really craved it these past two weeks.

That's all for now. Send me emails if there's anything you want to know and I'll put it in my next post.

Peace,
Ben